Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Wanted - Office Space just went kick ass

Crazy ass stunts and Anarchic comic book humour. This a film for the 'post Lucas Movie Audience' for sure. The opening Assassin scene. WOW. The train crash. Crash???? Does that play it down some what. Add to that some Angelina and Exploding rats and there is little wrong for me. Okay.......................................

.........so the plot is a bit bonkers, but then the Minority Report had that machine that dropped Balls and that was Spielberg. So who cares if they have a magic loom. Oh and did I mention the exploding rats??? I'm not a huge fan of Batman Returns but I can appreciate Penguins with rocket launchers. Exploding rats people!!!!!

The Family Man - F***ing Nic Cage

Yeah it's a nice story. Yeah it's a feel good-ish movie. Yay!!! It's set at Christmas. I even like the 'It's a Wonderful Life' undertones. But come on, Bloody Nic Cage. How much more of his over the top performances do I have to endure just cause I want to watch a film. Sodding Nic Cage. I used to like him. He even manages to put in the stupid expression and dance around moves into a bloody Xmas film. "Er we need a man to dance round like a prat in his underwear. Cruise doesn't do that now does he??? Ok, can we get Cage?".

Early stuff I like, but since Con Air, he's lost credibility. And he seems to show four signs constantly so maybe I should get him to hold his arms in the air to confirm.

The Muppet Christmas Carol - Please Sir! Are there any more?

Everyone knows the Dickens Classic and everyone has their favourite version. This isn't mine, but it still does well enough to keep your attention. If you like the Muppets then you can't fail to enjoy this but give me the Patrick Stewart version any day. The story plays better if it's a little bit darker.

The Prestige - Your a magician not a wizard

More period Drama. This time featuring turn of the century dueling magicians. A lavish affair bought to us by Chris Nolan and with his CV you know you're in for a treat. Strong acting stunning visuals and the expected twist. I didn't spot it. The sleight of hand is in the story telling as well. That's what gives the film repeat viewing for me and I have seen it a few times. There's even a bit of Steam Punk in there to broaden the audience appeal.

Brotherhood Of The Wolf - All Things to All People

Show me the wolf! Show me the wolf! This movie has everything, from it's costumes to the grueling bleak landscapes. It's got action, kick ass action from Mark Dacascos no less. It's like the Matrix found a better time line to hang out in. Horror, atmos'fear' and Wolves. And it's in French. Classic French though so no OTT Teenage angst from troubled Parisians. If you have a few hours to spare and want to be enthralled you could do far worse. A Stunning film.

Saturday, 19 December 2009

Journey to the Centre of the Earth - Don't Stop Believing

What can you say about this classic? It's rock buffoonery that traverses the bad cheese that's good. It's apparently the most downloaded song ever. It was Spoofed/Homaged to perfection by Family Guy. And of course it was butchered by The X Factor - As all is.

But the best comment I ever heard about it was that it apparently sounds like a Kings of Leon Song. After I had laughed out loud and re sown my sides together, I thought, 'you know, perhaps it would be worth them knocking out a cover'

The Art Of War - Stop your nonsense

Yeah. It's not all films.

As the battle of the Xmas number 1 'Rages' (I thank You) on between RATM and Joke Factor. As we have to listen to endless news commentary and poor journalism on the whole affair without really getting to the fact of why it's been done. As I buy my first single in about 10 years. As even the weather comes up as a factor in the outcome (only in Britain).

Well the 23:59 :59 closing time approaches, what do I think??? What do you think??? Who cares, this is still the best Xmas song ever!!!!!!

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Lethal Weapon - That's a real badge, I'm a real cop and this is a real firing gun

Just like presents, Xmas movies come in all shapes and sizes. This action classic from '87 is pretty close to genre perfection to me. Especially if Xmas Action movie is a genre. The 80s spawned the Big Budget Comedy/thriller/actioner (usually with it's poorer sequels in tow), see Beverly Hills Cop & Die Hard for the other family members, a special era. It's funny because at times this film seems dated, but then you realise that it's just been imitated so many times, (even on TV shows nowdays) that maybe it's been diluted for the modern audience. But when the key action scenes kick in even the most jaded movie goer can't help but be amazed.

Gibson in one of his top 3 roles for me (Mad Max and William Wallace being the others) and Danny Glover just uniquely 'Danny Glover'. They definitely do not make them like this anymore and cinema is poorer for it. And maybe the TV edited showing is too :-)

Gremlins - Uh Oh!!!

Cute pets, classic 80s cast, anarchic comic book violence and comedy genius. Joe Dante, Chris Columbus, Steven Spielberg and Jerry Goldsmiths classic score to boot. I can't tell you much about Gremlins, but if you have never seen it then your missing out. Spawned thousands of poor imitations that could never match the blend and appeal of this Christmas treat.

800 Bullets - A Fistfull of Steel

A sneaky little effort that I decided to watch and was glad I did. Follows the story of a group of ex stuntman that stared in some of the spaghetti westerns of the sixties. Still scraping a living doing stunt shows for tourists, their lively hood is threatened when their working home is sold to developers. From then on it follows a similar mould to Hollywood underdog stories but with at least one scene that would never make it in those films.

It's funny and knows it's source material with the only complaint being that it's about 30 minutes too long.

Silmido - During the War....

Another Korean flick, this time a War movie based on a true event in the North/South Korean history. It's a little like Dirty Dozen without the humour. South Korea trains up an elite unit made of criminals facing the death penalty for a mission to assassinate the commander of the North. Things don't go as planned and politics intervenes to put the mockers on the whole affair, much to the detriment of the said criminals.

It's a well acted low budget affair without the big explosions of Taegukgi and Assembly and is much the more depressing for it. But given the fact that it really happened, that is probably the idea. Brutal viewing.

Saturday, 5 December 2009

Sons Of Anarchy - John the Revelator

Season 2 is nearing the end. One more episode to air. It's been a hoot, the best thing on TV at the moment. Henry Rollins is in this season, adding to a great cast that already included, Hellboy, Leela and the young gay kid from Queer as Folk. Chuck in the Bikes, the girls, the guns, the crime and the family and the mix is complete. Check it out, It's Shakespearean don't you know.

Monster - Will and Grace

What a dull movie. It's about Americas first female serial killer and is incredibly dull. Charlize is scarily ugly and girlfriend Riccis' head is now more egg shaped than ever. It's kind of weird standpoint for the viewer as the violence never feels 'violent' and it seems we should feel sorry for her. But I don't cos she was minging and I felt more sorry for her customers even before she had killed them.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Timeline - Much like their records, seemed like a good deal....

Ironic that this is from the same author as Jurassic Park, as at times the cast feels like they were the seconds from that classy number. It's worth a watch probably once, if only for Anna Friel. But there are things to note before you jump in :-

1) Bad time travel films always have me questioning every plot hole whilst I'm being bored.

2) Paul Walker can only be himself, so putting him anywhere but West Coast America as a bratty 20 something narcissist is not going to work.

3) Billy Connolly is a fine man, a fine actor and a fantastic stand up. But when did you ever see him in an unmissable movie?

4) Tight camera shots are great when you're watching a film about being trapped in a cave or a space ship. Otherwise they can feel like a TV show.

5) I don't like BBCs Robin Hood. Do you??

6) Jurassic Park, Westworld, Andromeda Strain...................Congo, Sphere, 13th Warrior.

7) If you have ever seen The One Show and that Scottish bloke who likes history then Gerard Butlers character is pretty much ruined for you. If he was any good in the first place.

Make your own judgement.

Paranormal Activity - Don't Don't Don't Don't Don't believe the Hype.

The new Blair Witch. Well Maybe, on the basis that there is no benefit to watching this on the big screen. Scary??? Probably, if you watch it in the dark and then go to bed when it's finished. Oh , and as long as you haven't seen the trailer. That's the main difference with the Blair Witch comparison as that film had a carefully worked Internet campaign and back story to drag you in before the movie. This film just has a trailer that clips all the best bits of the film (shockingly so).

I'm OK with the subtext but let's get some perspective. Close...but no cigar.